Are you one of those Catholics who sometimes/always comments that there is no one to marry? It’s a typical complaint heard from Catholic young adults. Girls will wail “there’s no nice Catholic guys around to marry!” and the men will begrudgingly whine “but there are no respectable Catholic young ladies around!” And then there’s the dating vs. courtship debate, which is exhausting, since no one has the same definition of either term.
In this day and age, good men rarely ask out good girls, because (and correct me if I’m wrong, men) they are afraid of rejection. And justifiably so. Somehow in the last 50 years, girls have lost sight of the worth in an evening night out with an amiable young man – whether you find him dazzlingly attractive or not. If Catholic girls said “yes” every time a good Catholic man asked us out, the men would be more apt to ask us out more often.
My Irish Grandmother had four marriage proposals – and one was after she was already married! (unbeknownst to the proposer). Now this doesn’t mean we girls wish to flutter about comparing marriage proposals – the point I am trying to make is that my Grandmother went about with several young men, her and her twin sister even switched up dates sometimes. There was no rule that said Suzy could only go out with Fred now, since Fred had asked her to dinner three weeks ago. They went on group excursions, and Bob would courteously ask if he could pick Suzy up for it. Everyone went out with everyone. Eventually there was one you preferred over the others, and eventually he asked you to marry him. And you, of course, would say yes. Men weren’t timid about asking girls out. Certainly men have always had nerves, but it was easier to overcome them because the girls were gracious and feminine. Men will hold themselves up to our standard. Men love a challenge. They bask in fighting for what they believe or want. They were built for that. If you expect a man, then be a woman. And I don’t mean empowering “wo-man”, I mean a valiant woman – a true woman in the eyes of Christ. If you are kind and gracious, the men will rise to the occasion.
The next time a Catholic guy – be he close friend, acquaintance, or someone who just noticed you in mass 😉 – askes you out…say yes. I don’t care if you don’t think him dashingly handsome. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and more often then not, the more you get to know someone, the more beautiful you find them. So give the guys a chance! Let them have the opportunity to be a man and try to woo a pretty girl! And if nothing comes from a date (or two or three), the world isn’t going to end. It’s just a date. The ideal result of this campaign of mine would be more good, strong, Catholic marriages. No one meets new people by staying at home all the time. No one becomes a proficient knitter without hours of learning and practise. Just like no one will get married if we don’t start being open to more of the men/women we meet!
So men, start asking the gals out for casual, low-key dates. And gals, start saying yes.